I'm going to jail i love you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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