I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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