you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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