me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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