he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
