I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
