his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
