He kissed a someone with a penis
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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