can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
