i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sarcasm needs its own font
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
