i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
