So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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