I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
