I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
