Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
