How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
