DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
