So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
