know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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