Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
