Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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