her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
