I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
