yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
