New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
