Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize