Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
