i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
