Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
