OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
