Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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