Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
