i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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