I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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