Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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