Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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