Duck Duck Cougar?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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