We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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