Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
