You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
