Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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