Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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