Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
