And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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