I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
