a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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