I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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