if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
