so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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