On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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