Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize