You just made me feel so damn special
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
