I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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