to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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