Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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