I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
