Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
