Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
