So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize