I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
