Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
