I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
