she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
